Psst!

Miss, if you have to keep pulling your shirt down, maybe it's too small.  (and the cutoffs are not your best look.  Save them for the lake.)

Ma'am, If you are having difficulty handling the car, the traffic or your booze, perhaps the center lane on the highway is not your best option. (It was scary getting by you!)

Hmph!  Just ask me how to live!  And do as I say, not as I do.

Human Schmuman!

The trouble with human nature is that there are too many people connected to it.

MORE OF THE BEST OF MILTON BERLE'S PRIVATE JOKE FILE

Really?!

OK, why the short shorts with the work wear.  Unless you are going to the lake, please, lengthen your inseam, sir!  If you think you look sexy, I disagree.  Those legs are OK, but not spectacular and, in any case, who wants to see them in, say a grocery store?!  Ugh!

I'm Not Into It!

Did our forbears not come to this continent, form this country and give their lives so that we might live differently from the old world?  Why then, must we, in this generation, attempt to conform to what the old world has become?  If the global community does not like our point of view, let us work for more understanding.  Turning from our independence to make ourselves agreeable to those countries which denied our ancestors the freedoms they carved out for us seems betrayal to their toil.  Sinking into sameness will not benefit our children's children who may someday, condemn us for our willful blindness.  The great experiment must not fail because we are to lazy to keep that which was bought with rivers of their blood, sweat and tears.

Little Girl...

Are you crazy? 
Don't you know you'll be grown up for most of your life? 
 Why try to look like you are twenty-eight when you lack about twenty of those years?? 
While you have the chance, enjoy dressing like a child!  Leave off the make-up.   Skip the tight jeans.  Braids and ponytails are fun! 
Be yourself, not who you think you want to be in the future. 
You look ridiculous!  (It's embarrassing.)

Ribbit!

Low rise "skinny" jeans make most people look like frogs!

Snow Big Deal

OK, all you who gush over the first snowfall of the season.  Have you had enough?

OK all you who grouch over every snowfall after Christmas.  I've had enough!

It is February, not April.

Besides, all this crabbing is drowning out my grumping!