Feeling Left Out

Now, there are some things I want to be left out of -- obviously, I'm not a slave to fashion and I don't care to join in with politically correct thinking for it's own sake. 

I guess I must be an oddball in other ways.  Perhaps I'm socially unacceptable.  Anyway, this is written with a little lump in my throat because I wasn't invited and I'm feeling left out.

Whi-i-ine!

Did you forget?

Okay, let's go over this, again!

1. T-shirts are underwear, especially white ones!

2.  I don't want to see your underwear, and that means your bra and your underpants, or any portion thereof, whether sticking out of your clothes or playing peekaboo through you too sheer clothes!

3.  Running shorts belong at the track.

4. Sweat shirts and pants belong at the gym, or maybe the track.

5.  Your baseball cap should be doffed as you enter the door, and certainly should not be on your head whilst you are dining.

6. Short shorts allow too much of your skin to touch something I might have to touch. 

Maybe that's enough for right now.

Thanks I feel a little less grumpie.

Puh-leeze!

Get a full length mirror!  That's all I'm say...

Nah, I can't just leave it there.

OK, I understand.  You want to be comfortable.
Just because your body has aged past perfection, doesn't mean you mustn't wear shorts in public, I guess.  There should be a law, however, against wearing one of those  printed(LIKE THIS) t-shirts clinging over and rolling under your sagging bosom.  On a young, well endowed woman it looks rather ghastly.  Stuck to your body, well... puh-leeze!

Wanna borrow my muumuu?

Don't Say It!

OK, there is nothing tongue in cheek about this grumpiness!  You have no idea what someone else may be going through.  Your negative comment may be the straw that broke the camel's back.  You may discourage the stuggling soul from the next baby step he/she is trying to take.  Write it in you journal.  Blog it.  Talk to your bathroom mirror about it.  Whatever you must do to keep it from escaping your lips at the crucial moment, do it!  Shut up.  Don't say it!

Psst!

Miss, if you have to keep pulling your shirt down, maybe it's too small.  (and the cutoffs are not your best look.  Save them for the lake.)

Ma'am, If you are having difficulty handling the car, the traffic or your booze, perhaps the center lane on the highway is not your best option. (It was scary getting by you!)

Hmph!  Just ask me how to live!  And do as I say, not as I do.

Human Schmuman!

The trouble with human nature is that there are too many people connected to it.

MORE OF THE BEST OF MILTON BERLE'S PRIVATE JOKE FILE

Really?!

OK, why the short shorts with the work wear.  Unless you are going to the lake, please, lengthen your inseam, sir!  If you think you look sexy, I disagree.  Those legs are OK, but not spectacular and, in any case, who wants to see them in, say a grocery store?!  Ugh!