Walk Away!

OK, it may have looked good in that dressing room mirror from the front, from the sides and even from the back, but if you had walked away you might have noticed that those highly contrasting wide horizontal stripes sharply bouncing over your round buns might attract unfavorable attention.  Walk away from that mirror.  Please?!

Back Off!

Look, lady, I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, I really do.  I'm not sure how you rear end me while I'm stopped at an intersection... with a stop sign, at which you will have to stop, and not even get out and apologise.  Your hair color would not seem to indicate that you just learned to drive.  Oh, I just thought, maybe you don't have a drivers licence, at all!  Watch it.  I may get out and discuss the matter, next time.