The "F" Word

That "F" word is for another day!

This time I'm talking fruitcake. 

I'm almost afraid to admit I actually love a good fruitcake!  I've had some rather bad samples and even the good ones are hard on the old system, but the taste of a spicy, nutty, fruity cake is a Christmas treat that I don't care to pass up.

What gets me "grumpie" is the universal joke garbage.  I don't have a "science project" of rotting food poisoning the atmosphere of my fridge.  I know a lot of people who just love their mothers-in-law, and I know a lot of people who like fruitcake... including me!

So, there!

Seen on another blog...

with a picture of Oscar the Grouch,

Merry Christmas!

Now, go home!

Whine!

Whine

by

Alice L Craig

My hair is gray.

My hair is thin.

My body?  Where

Do I begin?

My brain half dead,

My hands are cold.

I blame it all

On getting old.



Ah-Shoes! (Excuse me)

It happened, again!  Someone was a guest on a TV show I was watching.  Pull back...long shot...SHE HAS HOOVES!  Oh, they're shoes!  What would make anyone wear very high heels (not pretty) with platform soles (again, not pretty) made to look solid from near ankle to beyond toe??!!

Just because some designer has decided to "push the envelope,"  doesn't mean you wear them and look like half of a horse!!  Gee-up!

Lobster Claw Shoes

Now, That's Serious

I already posted about my aversion to those cards or key chain tags you have to have to get the sale price in certain drugstore and supermarket chains.  Now I have more reason than just being grouchy, for my dislike of them.  If someone gets your card/tag and buys something, the printed receipt gives them enough information to find your house.  If they have your keys, they don't even have to break in. 

In other words, the criminal doesn't even have to be as smart as the key tag carrier to pull off a pretty slick crime! 

What, a Card?

So, I'm looking at the sale fliers.  Thinking about making a list for stocking stuffers.  That's a good price.  Wait a sec.  Yup, it says "with card."  What?  Yet another chain has decided to restrict their sale prices to card carrying "members?"  Ridiculous!

Why don't they just card me at the door?  They may as well have.  I get so irritated that I cut the store out of my itinerary, anyway!  First it was a drugstore chain.  I stopped shopping there.  They finally lifted the ban/card.  Then there was the grocery store.  Another drugstore hops aboard.  Now, the first drugstore is at it, again.  I guess they didn't suffer enough from the lack of my patronage.  Well, it certainly does simplify things!  There are a few less places to stop, while I'm out. 

I know it's free!  I'm aware that it helps with business calculations.  Spare me.  I wish to remain anonymous, thank you.  Keep your card.

Do I Have to Have a Reason??

Why am I Grumpie?  What do you mean, why am I grumpy?  Do I have to have a reason?  Must we dig into my psyche and ferret out the root of my discontent??  Who will reap the benefit of such an exercise?  If you think that you will benefit, why should I care?  If you think that I will benefit, why should I believe you?  Perhaps I gain enough by being a grouch, to offset any perceived problem!

Just accept that I'm grumpy, and leave it there!  What makes it your business, anyway?  :(

Heels!

So, what is the point of walking around en pointe??  I realise I exaggerate, but not by much!  Why would anyone want to make themselves ridiculous by wearing heels so high they can barely walk?  Is it to look prettier?  I don't think so!  If something is pretty off the foot (and I have my opinion on that, too, big surprise!) it does not mean that it will make a body pretty!  I like marble columns.  I think they are pretty.  I do not think that attaching myself to them will make me look pretty!

Do women think that these stilts make them look sexy?  Is there a big difference between Mrs. Wiggins, Carol Burnett's character, and the preposterous posture of the modern shoe worshiper?  I don't see it.  Sticking out your posterior and lifting your feet like a show horse looks ridiculous, to me.  Heck, trying to look sexy for the general public looks ridiculous, too, but that's another subject!

So, if that expensive designer shoe (or slightly cheaper knock off) is a sculptural beauty, put it on a pedestal, not on your foot!  If you must put it on, stretch out your leg, admire the effect, take a picture, if you like, but have mercy, and don't stand up!  Please!

Howling Happy Days!

Don't even!!  If you've got to say something, just wish me a good evening.  I can not believe how far this has gone!  The day before Thanksgiving a checkout lady wished me a happy holiday!  What is controversial about Thanksgiving?  Sure, it's associated with thanking God.  I know, if you are an atheist, this may be offensive to you, but shouldn't we all be thankful??  I wished her a happy Thanksgiving, and moved on.

Maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing.  When I was a kid, back when we said the Lord's prayer at the beginning of the school day, I have no memory of people hollering or whispering, "Happy Thanksgiving."
The greeting was reserved for Christmas and the turn of the year. 

So, I understand if you don't want to wish me a happy Chanukah!  You may not be aware that it is Hanukkah!  I don't celebrate the Festival of Lights, but you can wish me a happy one, if you want.  I won't be offended. 

I do object to "Happy Holidays!"  The attempt to be politically correct has become ridiculous!  If your employees are not to form the word, "Christmas" upon their lips, the how about just using the ubiquitous, "Have a good day?"  I don't even know if saying, "Happy Kwanzaa" is appropriate.  "Should one say, "Happy Saint Nicholas Day?"  "Happy Boxing Day?"  To what holy day does "Happy Holidays"  refer?  Is it Easter?  How about Good Friday? 

Phooey!  If not, bah!  and humbug! 

As far as "Merry Christmas," goes, it all right, but what I really wish for each soul is Joy.  The merriment dies away.  The lonely, the oppressed may find no occasion for jollity.  Deep in the soul comfort and joy is more like what I want for each and all.  I like to say "Happy Christmas" but, even if your particular holiday is not particularly happy, I send you greetings for the season of the day that brought tidings of great joy to all people.

So, there!

Slow Down!

So, what is with people, any more, huh?? 

When I was a kid Christmas didn't start until December, at least!!  Reading old novels, as I like to do, it seems that folks just went shopping Christmas Eve day and grabbed a tree and it was all over in no time! 

Now, focusing on God's great gift of His own Son is a great idea.  What that has to do with electronic gadgets, designer clothing and accessories and toys, toys, toys, seems rather obscure, to me! 

I love giving presents!!  I love the idea of a warm family gathering.  I get that we can give each other gifts in celebration of Jesus' birth.  Yes, I know the celebration was moved.  Yes, I know that a decorated tree doesn't have a lot to do with a holy day.  I will have a tree and celebrate on December 25th, if I can, nonetheless.

But why do we need Christmas stuff in the stores before the arrival of candy corn and plastic pumpkins??  Doesn't this lengthened Christmas season make it harder to sustain the happy mood? 

So, wait until December 20th, at least, to do your Christmas shopping, and stay out of my way -- I think I'm almost done!

Cooking up a Storm

Cooking is not my thing, I'll admit that.  Occasionally, I'll get inspired and go humming about the kitchen,   very occasionally!  So "doing" a dinner for the benefit of my family, is nagging at the back of my mind. 

 We try not to focus on the food as much as on the reason for the day, but it is not effortless, for me.  I have to plan!  I have to think!!  I have to clean!!! 

Nobody wants me to go overboard.  We have a feast of fat things, even when the variety (& the fat) is limited.  I do look forward to leftovers.  No cooking for a couple of days!!

It's the actual cooking that has started the storm.  The cold front (brain, I guess)  and the warm front (would that be my stressed stomach?) are churning up the atmosphere.  I know from experience the best remedy is to plan well and just get at it! 

Bah!  And phooey!

Talking Turkey?

OK, I'm already sick of people talking about "Turkey Day!"  What in heaven's name is wrong with saying "Thanksgiving?"  Same number of syllables.  Can't be that much harder to form the word.  Are we that focused on food?  Really? 

You can get turkey at other times of the year.  As a matter of fact, I have frequently bought frozen turkey while it was inexpensive and popped it into the freezer for later, leaner months.  I know that purists say that there were no turkeys served at "the first Thanksgiving."  I know that wasn't the first one, that thanksgiving ceremonies have been going on for much longer than four centuries (okay, almost, almost!) 

The point is, whether there's turkey, or chicken, or vegetables or just a little rice -- or maybe nothing at all, there is still reason to set aside a day, at least, to acknowledge and thank God for what we have.  Maybe, if we stop and realise how fortunate we are and how little of it due to our own abilities, we will find a better perspective on more than what to call the last Thursday in November!

Don't even get me started on "National Pig Out Day!" and how does football make me thankful?  C'mon!

Happy giving of thanks!

Scheme:Scream!

So, what is with the constant screaming?? 

I mean, I understand the occasional whoop of appreciation for something spectacular.  I'll even give you the excited mania when the player is sprinting toward home base, or the goal line.  What I don't get or like is the screeching when a celebrity walks on stage.  Are we trying to frighten them away?  Why would anyone with normal hearing consider this a compliment? 

I missed Oprah's show on Friday.  It was supposed to be the one where she shows all this cool stuff and then... "everyone in the audience is going home with one," followed by hysterical screaming.  Ugh!  I would have had to have the sound off and the closed captioning on, so I'm not sure I really missed anything. 

Years ago, I returned with friends to their home and found a mutual acquaintance waiting for them.  She shrieked out the news that she was engaged (the prospective groom was in attendance.)   "Aaaaaaaagh!" she screamed, jumping around like she was barefoot on a hot tar road.  I cringed, at least inwardly.

Why is there a need to make such a noise?  Will anyone pay any attention when there is an emergency, if we are already living at full lung capacity?  If someone is knocked to the ground by the sound we make at the simple sight of them, how will they know when they've done something of which we truly approve?  What happened to simple applause?

I'd like to suggest...

Ahem... I'd like to...

Excuse me...

HEY!

Thank you.  I'd like to suggest that we lower our voices!

Flip Flop

OK, I'll admit I'm a clothing curmudgeon!  I don't like so many things that I ought to wear a sign, perhaps.  What could it say?  "THE END IS NEAR" and on the reverse "TOO NEAR THE HEM!"  Would anyone even get what I was driving at?

OK, I'm not ancient, but nobody under seventy-five would call me young either.  That may have something to do with how I feel about flip flops.  They are beach wear!  Wear them at home, if you wish.  Wear them in a communal shower, by all means!  Pleeease don't wear them to school, to the store (even if you are still in your bathing suit -- especially if you are still in your bathing suit!) to a date that is not at the beach, to vote, to the opera, to meet the President of the United States.... Ugh! 

A lot less floppy flapping might make me happier.  I doubt that, but we can try!

In case you are wondering, I don't wear flip flops...
    ...I wear Crocs!

Stainless steel appliances

Today, it happened again.  I was watching the Nate show and the expert told a person selling her home to update the refrigerator with a slim profile (check) stainless steel one.  NOOOO!  I hate large stainless steel appliances in a home kitchen!  I worked at McDonald's.  We had SS there, all over the place.  Very practical.  Very institutional!  ICK!!  I'd rather have pastel, from the sixties or even avocado or gold from the seventies!  I thought I disliked them, but whew!! Yucky poo!  Cold as a big ice block, in my opinion!  What do you think?