Knit Picking

Oh please, please, please consider what you are covering when you don a thin knit!  If it's lumpy and bumpy it's going to be emphasised by wearing anything clingy.  T-shirts may be comfortable, but looking at your fat pockets is not pleasant.  As for anyone who wears T-shirt knit shorts or capris - please, I beg you, sit down, stand up and look in your mirror.  Too much information!  

Who Do You Hate?

What is the meaning of this mainstream media bias that lets the attacks on Israel go unreported? 

Are we afraid of Armageddon?

Are we compassionate for every other group that is hated, but not the Jews?

Is this politically correct?  Does that mean that political correctness is just another way to distance ourselves from others?   

Are people who don't care about the Jews in Israel,  the Karen in Burma, the Somalians and other African groups, any better than those who torment and kill those people?

Clean your mirrors, people.  The problem lies in all of us.   Who do you hate?

T M I !!

OK, I know I've probably covered this territory pretty well already.  So - one more time...

I do not want to hear about your sex life when I'm sitting or standing or walking near you and I do not want to witness with my own eyes what kind of underwear you have on - or the lack thereof! 

Would you please hide these details from me?  Tuck it in, make sure your shirt & pants meet when you bend ever so slightly to get yourself into a chair, sheer clothes need a layer or four underneath them -- and keep your confidences confidential.

PLEASE!

please?

Thank you.

Bah - ggy Jeans!

Am I the only one who thinks pocket scribbles on jeans look silly?  Sorry, but they do nothing for your butt!  Then, when the pockets are hanging somewhere between my-pants-are-fallen-and-I-can't-pull-them-up and Mommy-I-went-pee, the designer touch looks downright ridiculous.  Are you trying to look clueless?  It's working!

One More Time...

Literally means actually.  You did not literally die or else we both died!  (I'm not in the habit of communicating with the "other side.")

and by the way...

"Irregardless," if actually a word, is either redundant, or a double negative, take your choice.

A Lot Less Grumpie

...now that the political ads are gone for a while!

Bleee- aaack!  I hate being peppered with those big spender ads that begin with, "Here in..." (fill in your state) and most likely come from big money out of state interests.   You want to extend your tentacles into my poor little panic ridden state.  I'm on to you!

NO! NO! NO!

OK, I sound like a two year old, but I'm really tired of our political ads.  Who has the money to keep throwing at us the idea that our new law to prevent voter fraud is an infringement of our "rights."  How stupid do they think I am?  -- I'm pretty stupid, but I'm voting NO!

And, more casinos?  What?  They haven't even finished building the new one!  I voted against it, too.  Frankly, if Maine is to become the place to gamble rather than the place to camp and eat lobster, I want to tell my grandchildren I voted against it.  Ugh!  NO! and also, NO!  Preying on the frightened, unemployed people who have such short collective memories does not impress me, Big Dirty Money!

We will come out of this if we keep our heads.  We will get to that point, again, where you can spend thousands of dollars you do not yet have on plastic toys for all ages that will choke the landfills!  Just tighten your belt and do your best!  Believe it or not, that is the American way!

New! Improved! Bah!

It's ridiculous to be bothered by so small a detail.  Don't tell me.  I know, and I'm grumpy, anyway. 

It destroys the even flow of a long established routine. 

It leaves sharp edges that cut into my nice clean silicone spatula. 

It makes it nearly impossible to get every last drop, rankling my frugal soul. 

It makes it harder to clean up for our towns dainty recyclers. 

It's the darn 'pop top' redesign of

soup concentrate cans.

 

Grr. 

 I don't need improvements that make something so simple take longer! 

Bah! 

Phooey! 

Humbug!

Now, I feel bet...

No, I don't!

RATS

DON'T TELL ME!

I'd like to know what is about me that inspires these confidences.  (OK, maybe I wouldn't really like to know.)  It happened again, and I don't understand it. 

I am unabashedly Christian.  I don't wear a button saying, "Ask me how not to GO TO HELL." or pass out tracts at social functions, but if you are around me very long it becomes obvious that I'm relying on Jesus' sacrifice to get me to heaven.  It also becomes obvious that I ain't makin' it on my own!  So, why has this happened to me at least twice?

A Christian friend has told me with smiles and great satisfaction how they stole something.  How am I supposed to react?  What do they want from me, a pat on the back.  Better not turn your back for that pat, you'll be surprised where it lands!  

The only thing I can think of is that each person thought that they weren't "really" stealing.  One took something from our workplace.  The other from the donated items outside a charity store. 

Why did they tell me?  I'm not qualified to give absolution!  Was I supposed to say, "Oh, you clever thing."  Did they want me to say, "You put that back, and say you are sorry!"  I don't know.   I don't get it.

I get confessing a weakness in warning, to ask for support or as a friendship deepening thing-gummy.   But this, I don't get and it makes me grumpy that I don't get it.  (Or should that be, that I do get it?)

So, do me a favor, wouldja?  If you get stinkin' drunk and think it's a joke; if you act like a jerk to get what you want and think it's smart, please

DON'T TELL ME!

Puh-leeze!

Get a full length mirror!  That's all I'm say...

Nah, I can't just leave it there.

OK, I understand.  You want to be comfortable.
Just because your body has aged past perfection, doesn't mean you mustn't wear shorts in public, I guess.  There should be a law, however, against wearing one of those  printed(LIKE THIS) t-shirts clinging over and rolling under your sagging bosom.  On a young, well endowed woman it looks rather ghastly.  Stuck to your body, well... puh-leeze!

Wanna borrow my muumuu?

Don't Say It!

OK, there is nothing tongue in cheek about this grumpiness!  You have no idea what someone else may be going through.  Your negative comment may be the straw that broke the camel's back.  You may discourage the stuggling soul from the next baby step he/she is trying to take.  Write it in you journal.  Blog it.  Talk to your bathroom mirror about it.  Whatever you must do to keep it from escaping your lips at the crucial moment, do it!  Shut up.  Don't say it!

Really?!

OK, why the short shorts with the work wear.  Unless you are going to the lake, please, lengthen your inseam, sir!  If you think you look sexy, I disagree.  Those legs are OK, but not spectacular and, in any case, who wants to see them in, say a grocery store?!  Ugh!

I'm Not Into It!

Did our forbears not come to this continent, form this country and give their lives so that we might live differently from the old world?  Why then, must we, in this generation, attempt to conform to what the old world has become?  If the global community does not like our point of view, let us work for more understanding.  Turning from our independence to make ourselves agreeable to those countries which denied our ancestors the freedoms they carved out for us seems betrayal to their toil.  Sinking into sameness will not benefit our children's children who may someday, condemn us for our willful blindness.  The great experiment must not fail because we are to lazy to keep that which was bought with rivers of their blood, sweat and tears.

Little Girl...

Are you crazy? 
Don't you know you'll be grown up for most of your life? 
 Why try to look like you are twenty-eight when you lack about twenty of those years?? 
While you have the chance, enjoy dressing like a child!  Leave off the make-up.   Skip the tight jeans.  Braids and ponytails are fun! 
Be yourself, not who you think you want to be in the future. 
You look ridiculous!  (It's embarrassing.)

Snow Big Deal

OK, all you who gush over the first snowfall of the season.  Have you had enough?

OK all you who grouch over every snowfall after Christmas.  I've had enough!

It is February, not April.

Besides, all this crabbing is drowning out my grumping!

Mixed Signals

What is with manufacturing automobile turn signals and headlights together?  The taillights are bad enough.  I usually follow at a distance safe enough to get irritated with (but am in no danger of hitting) the half witted driver who turns without... oh, is that faint glimmer a turn signal?  Staring into the headlights of an oncoming minivan, slowing inexplicably... Ah, my dazzled eyes just caught a fleeting flash, didn't it.  Give me the old bolted on bug eyes!  Give me the hand signals!  No, not that signal...

Questions for Winter Grouches?

Why crab about the snow and the cold?  Is it January?  Is this New England?  Did we not expect this?  Have we been spoiled by a couple of open Winters?  Is there not beauty in the still white world? 

Well, are you answering me?  Why not enjoy each season as we have it?   Do they not whirl by fast enough, as it is?  Can we not find gratitude for something?  Why must you grumble?

Why was one of my best Christmas gifts a tub of red tulips?  Why did I keep them prominently displayed?

"Discussion"

Is it a discussion when the participants just air their views?

dis·cus·sion

noun \di-ˈskə-shən\

Definition of DISCUSSION

1

: consideration of a question in open and usually informal debate

2

: a formal treatment of a topic in speech or writing

 

Merriam Webster

 

I guess it could be.  Many "discussions" leave me grumpier than ever.  Obviously, you want to show everyone that you can parrot what you've seen on TV, the Internet, etc!   Just shut up, so I can give you the benefit of my hard earned wisdom! 

What are You (almost) Wearing?

I've already mentioned that I'm a clothing or costuming curmudgeon.   I wouldn't be at all displeased if we all draped ourselves in robes and wore sandals or moccasins, since going barefoot is too dangerous and messy. 

I do like pretty dresses.  I like men in nice dressy-casual clothes.  BUT - Modesty is always a part of my definition of pretty.  It is not pretty or cute to render the garment moot, by baring or outlining the very body it's meant to cover!  

I do not deliberately subject all those I meet to the sight of those body parts which should be kept private.  I have no wish for you to lust after me, nor to laugh after me.  Could you not do the same for me? 

Cover yourself, please!  The place for displaying your wares is not on the street, much less at word, in school, on the bus ... Puh-leeze!

The "F" Word

That "F" word is for another day!

This time I'm talking fruitcake. 

I'm almost afraid to admit I actually love a good fruitcake!  I've had some rather bad samples and even the good ones are hard on the old system, but the taste of a spicy, nutty, fruity cake is a Christmas treat that I don't care to pass up.

What gets me "grumpie" is the universal joke garbage.  I don't have a "science project" of rotting food poisoning the atmosphere of my fridge.  I know a lot of people who just love their mothers-in-law, and I know a lot of people who like fruitcake... including me!

So, there!